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6;27 PM Jun 20

I have a lot to speak of. Pervasions have been on my mind forthwrith. Pervasions have been preeminently on my mind. YET, in the middle of pervasions.. 4 chan gifs, viewed right behind  a sleeping Rach, But who calls and yanks me out of that loop? Sammi Yay! So we decided to meet at the library and that is where I am right now. I might also read more math. Im going to look at Sammi’s program. I am going to fill out the application! Call people who I need as references! How about I log onto Facebook!~

OH > THE PASSWORD IS: menomen0. Haha. So simple. The first variation of the classic menom3na password.

6;51. I was on facebook. Looked at nicks page, madisons, devons, eddies. And then I got up called sammi and flipped my waterbottle and it occurred to that while I wait for sammi I can type all about my pervase life. What I’ve been up to. Sneaking off to the bathroom or the bed 7 times today. I mean, it’s a constant. When I go outside to walk rosa I think about it. Because of what I did in the morning. I thought just the once, it was the wee hours of morning, I thought it would be ok. Maybe I can scan some pages.

6;56. Waiting for Sammi. waiting to submit text. what i was thinking, well i've been trying to accept jesus or the lord into my heart. but my head and my groin keeps going back to the same old. wanting to tug tug, sploosh sploosh. it's my best way to painlessly pass the time. and pass the time I do. But is it really healthy,,, well of course it's not healthy to overdue that and be preoccupied on it all the time,,,but more so, the things i think are not , are not what i want to think in normal life, i don't want those sick fantasies contaminating my normal interactions. and that is a real threat. i just like cute girls too much. and hard effing. so it's an intense visualization. but, but...between the adderall and the zoloft i haven't been able to come at all today! Despite much hard work. I am glad, very glad i got interrupted though because now i am at the glorious library instead of the dingy apartment and i can see it is starting to get dark outside. i don't want to look at too much of sammi's program....i don't want to take the effort to start the application tonight either. i think it is just something i will do when i do it and i do have Linnettes number somewhere, just gotta get Susie's. 

I am at the library. and I have no choice but to sit here. What will i do with my time? Continue to write? Slouch in front of the keyboard. publish this real quick when i hear the smickety smack of sammi coming down the lobby, "Howdy, Toby-us" with a cheshire grin on his face. and then we will laugh and gallop. but probably not laugh because i think we both may be grumpy at this point. i will try my best to engage, to reciprocate, to have merriment. 

I smoked weed before i came here. can you  believe that. been smoking much dope lately. tonight i must, i must, fall asleep at a shapely time. do i need melatonin? That's going to make it rough to wake up tommorow. i will wake up and run and then i will uh go to the library and study math, yeah, and then i will REVIEW MATH AND DO ALL THAT AND HOPEFULLY EVEN SEE DR STEIN IN HIS OFFICE IF I CAN FIND IT BECAUSE 2nd floor black hall. 

sammi called. he is coming now. trying to get me to go to the math faculty website to find steins email address. i already got it tho, thanks. 

19;17.